High Wire

I woke up today with a knot in my stomach. I had an overwhelming since of dread. I hadn't felt this bad since my husband left for Iraq a few years ago ( he is back and safe.) I can't even begin to tell you how often I have had these balls of nerves creep up on me. I lived with them day in and day out when I was married to an alcoholic. Growing up in my house was also very high anxiety. So I trudged through my morning trying not to vomit. I had a chance between classes to read a little in my One Day At A Time book. It was about the slogan Let Go and Let God. I remember the first time I really put this slogan to use. I was in the middle of a divorce and living in someone's garage. Every moment that would happen next was a mystery. I had quite the bundle of nerves then but somehow I managed through it and even with some grace and dignity. I should stop here and say, I did not actually manage through it. I turned it over to God and then held on for dear life. Reflecting on those times helped me to gather my courage today and confront my anxiety. I repeated the slogan, Let Go and Let God and then like a high wire act I just put one foot in front of the other. Everything turned out to be fine and the reason for my anxiety disintegrated before my eyes. This program never fails me. Not once.